boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
