I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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