so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
