Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
