I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
