I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
