I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
