you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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