Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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