Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize