btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
