im holly from the hills drunk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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