people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
