Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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