fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Can Purell be used as lube?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
