Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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