I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I did not marry a roomba.
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