My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
