there's paper in my vomit.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
