i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my being single is dangerous.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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