look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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