I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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