she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
