sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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