he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
