billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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