Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
