i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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