I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
