so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
