last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
do herpes really smell.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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