Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
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how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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