Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
