i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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