I seem to have left my pride at pride
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
