Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
bring money and cleavage
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
