the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
