Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
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We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
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While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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