Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
