dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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