I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize