I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
