i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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