i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
