Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
