What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
