Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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