Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize