If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
