Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
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He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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