I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
