My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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