She is in my trunk
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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