i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
