:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
