so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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