tell your sister to shave her snatch
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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