How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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