NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
