Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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