I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
