God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
