covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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