Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
