She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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